Cycle of Fat


Today was my weigh in day for Weightwatchers. I was quietly confident the scales would tell me I weighed less than I did last week as i had followed the ‘rules’ to the letter. I had eaten better, moved more and eaten within the constraints of the plan. There really is no science to losing weight other than that.

You just have to accept you can’t eat crap, or very much of it if you want to be slimmer.

Despite arriving a good five minutes before the ‘meeting’ is due to start I was a good 10th or 11th in the queue to go in. I wasn’t the only one who thought it a good idea to get there early. We stood outside in the hallway whilst I’m imagine the organisers were busy preparing the room behind the closed doors. They certainly sounded like they were.

As i’m waiting to go in i’m checking out the women who are also waiting with me. If i’m honest i’m solely concentrating on their weight/loss & so far success. I saw that every woman (like i said weirdly there are no men ?) was really quite big. Probably classified as clinically or morbidly obese and some of them were really young women, probably mid 30’s.

I found it so utterly depressing to see this is what it’s come to for so many people, myself to a lesser extent but also, where we are unable to modify or make the right choices about our diet & ultimately our lifestyle that we need intervention to help us. We are not totally to blame, many of us have not been educated with what constitutes a healthy lifestyle from as far back as our childhoods and we’re in an age where processed & fast food is pushed literally down our throats. You can not go buy a newspaper & a pint of milk without side stepping discount family sized chocolate bars, boxes of doughnuts and bags of crisps the size of small suitcases. It’s impossible to always win the fight against the constant barrage of goods that are on offer. We are all prey to temptation and even the steeliest of resolves suffer weak moments from time to time.

It’s no wonder eating disorders are so prevalent & widespread. Which according to Eating Disorders Statistics (UK) 1.1. million have a recognised Eating Disorder with most of them being in the 14-25 year old age group. Thats the ones that are recognised. It doesn’t account for those on the lesser end of that scale that miss meals or eat to weird regimes or yo-yo somewhere in between.

It’s really quite staggering how we are to a certain degree protected by regulations when it comes to tobacco, alcohol and even pharmaceuticals yet when it comes to sugar & processed food it’s a free for all, yet this is probably just as big a contributor to the detriment of our health as the others.

Having a Orwellian moment, our future waist lines are going to be in the hands of multinational ‘Diet’ companies, weighing & drip feeding us how we should be eating whilst at the same time selling us ‘diet’ products that perpetuate the myth that we can eat processed food and still be slim yet only encourage us to eat more at the same time. All at the price of our health and future generations.

We will end up having monthly subscriptions to these companies not dissimilar to Cable TV or Mobile phone packages. We will become so brain washed that we will not be able to think for ourselves, at all where it comes to food.

One of the women in this group, being in her mid 30’s must have been 14-15 stone plus. Queuing to be weighed. She was typically rubenesque and then some. She was holding the hand of a very small blonde haired girl wearing pigtails. The girl looked to be no more than 4 or 5. This girl, clearly being a product of her environment was equally big. Infact, probably the fattest child i’ve ever seen and depressingly i’m not just saying this. Her features were in the middle of her face surrounded by enormous chubby cheeks so red the capillaries on them look to burst. Her stomach was hanging over her girly bits and her jeggings looked uncomfortably tight.

When her mother was weighed i could hear the Leader tell her she was doing so well and to keep up the good work, she obviously had lost more weight this week, how much i couldn’t hear but enough to make her cry. She was so pleased, she cried.

How wonderful that she was doing something about her obesity and letting her daughter witness her triumphs, i only hope her diet/healthy lifestyle would be filtered down to her daughter. Then I saw her at the next table stock up on biscuits, crisps and sweets, all Weightwatchers finest and rendering her unlikely to break the cycle of her dieting misfits. She wasn’t prepared to change her eating habits clearly, from the size of the carrier bag she was toting, she was just finding another way to get her fix, albeit in an acceptable ‘dieting’ way.

One of the problems with being overweight which i’m well aware of, is that people just judge you for the way you look. For all i know this mother and her daughter could have an illness greater than just over-eating & being lazy. From the size of her carrier bag full of spoils I think that unlikely. There are many people who are victims to their dysfunctional metabolisms and are unable to control their waist lines & appetites. I get that, and I do understand how terribly difficult & unfair it is. But for the majority of fat people that isn’t the case. It’s how i come to be in that queue to be weighed for a start.

My weight management or lack thereof makes me no better or worse than this woman and her kid. I’ve just managed to keep within an acceptable boundary, i still don’t have the answer to sustainable weight management no more than next person.

I don’t have any answers, other than a moral compass that jolts to life when my jeans get too tight or my conscience too great when i’m still wearing maternity clothes months down the line. One day this inbuilt mechanism may let me down and it’ll be me standing crying at the scales in front of a room full of people. That thought alone has stopped me and strengthened my resolve to keep up my good work, until i next pop out to buy a newspaper or pint of milk….


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