Here I am

After what feels like an eternity, I’ve finally managed to fire off another post to my blog. Thats what happens when you have another baby, you get lost in the mire of baby land; rocking, feeding, winding and changing nappies. My second daughter was born mid September and she is to be four months old tomorrow. She is an absolute blessing, such a smiley baby and looks so much like my older daughter. I cant remember what life was like before she arrived.

It’s been far harder adjusting to two babies (now both under 21 months) and the comments about being brave and stupid suddenly make sense. It’s far harder then i envisaged juggling two so small. Ive often gone to bed frazzled and even more often been woken from my exhaustion induced coma after less then 59 minutes sleep. I actually counted that the longest i had slept concurrently was 2.5hrs one week. To say i was a woman on the edge is an understatement!  Its way harder then i thought it would be. Yet, i wouldnt change any of it. Now the hard work of being pregnant again so soon after my first daughter arrived and managing a little one whilst heavily pregnant, giving birth again, recovering and dealing with the first 12 weeks of hormonal, sleep deprived life is over, we’re finding our way together, slowly as a family. Its wonderful. So much so i actually feel broody all over again and think “ah…wouldnt it be nice?’. Crazy foolish woman i am.

So that is the reason why i havent managed to get my blog up and running properly or make regular posts. I even thought about deleting what i had done at one stage, after all, no one has actually read my blog according to my Stats. So why continue ? Because i really enjoy the time when i get to sit and write, so that is reason enough for now.

Its hard to surmise what life has been like lately without going down the sterotypical road descibing what life is like with a newborn…and toddler. It can draw criticism that you’re moaning about your lot in life when you harper on about dirty nappies, wailing babies, sleepless nights and milk everywhere. There you go, i fell into the trap. It’s not until you’re out of it, or wanting to be in it, do you realise what an amazing time this is. Someone so small needing you around the clock for their every need. It’s a humbling experience and despite the many mothers i’ve met on my rounds we are all in the same lost boat trying to navigate our way through changing tides.

Being a second time mum clearly has its advantages. There are few surprises and you know the routine of how your day is likely to pan out. With my first daughter, the shock and fear i felt with the tsunami of information about what to do for the best was literally oveerwhelming. I wanted to be the perfect mother and yet every time i asked a question; to a midwife, Dr, Friend or family member i got a completely different response. Throw in crippling exhaustion and a hormonal imbalance and you have the makings for a ticking time bomb. It was only once my daughter and I had got to know each other properly did my confidence come, realising no one knew her better then i did and that there is no such thing as being a perfect mother. All any of us can do is what we think is best for them.

I still know few other mothers who have ventured into the double child life yet and i can seee those with one one child looking carefully at how we manage and and cope with two little ones. Very different is usually my answer but if having one baby is amazing having two is incredible and i would highly recommend it, that and having such a close gap between them. Im hoping dearly they will become best friends for life.

So here i am, a mother of two amazing little girls, who look to me with so much love in their eyes it moves me to my core, i must be the luckiest mamma ever

Advertisements

Would be interested to know your opinion...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s